WFMAD Day Three

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If this is truly day 3 for you, write about what the last couple of writing sessions have felt like. Harder than you thought? Easier? Why? If you haven’t quite gotten the hang of taking those 15 minutes, write about what got in the way and how you feel about it.

I am so excited to say that this is truly day three for me. I’m excited to say that I truly look forward to these sessions, and that I’m getting used to writing every day again.

YAY!!!

The sessions have felt liberating. I feel like I have permission to write! I think part of the problem I couldn’t/wouldn’t write before? I had/have a block in me that says I don’t deserve to write. That I have other things to do. Or that I’ll never make anything of it, it’s a waste of time, and I’m not good at it so why bother?

But these WFMAD sessions…it makes me feel like it’s OK to write. Like, one of my favorite authors in the world is GIVING ME PERMISSION to write and so it’s OK for me to do this.

The best part is that I can write from my heart, and it doesn’t have to be perfect or publication-ready. I can just write, and in just writing, I’m slowly working my way up to loving the process again.

So far, Laurie has offered two prompts each day–a non-fiction prompt and a fiction prompt. I’ve been picking the non-fiction prompts because they encourage me to explore myself in regards to writing. They force me to be honest with myself about writing and whether or not I really want to do it (for a living). And because the prompts are non-fiction, I feel less pressure to make up something brilliant. I can just write something that’s real, that I can draw from experience, that I can draw from what I’m feeling or thinking. So, the sessions have been easier than I anticipated, thanks to those non-fiction prompts. And I think…that by choosing the non-fiction prompts, I’m confronting my fears of writing fiction in a way.

Fiction writing prompts have always been tough for me. I find it hard to make up a story on command. Writing idea books and things like that are worthless to me because I’d rather make up my own ideas and settings and characters. I also like to come up with my own ideas. (But I don’t allow myself to brainstorm as much as I should.)

I LOVE creating people/characters. And building their worlds. Seriously! You should see me when I play the Sims. I create characters and build houses over and over. I actually play the game too (but not often because I fall into a Sims hole when I do that–I binge on it which is not healthy so I play it very rarely), but my favorite thing is creating the world. I was the same with my Barbie dolls when I was little and maybe not so little. I loved dressing them up and setting up their homes, but I never really wanted to actually play with them. The set up was my favorite.

And I know that’s my issue with writing fiction now. I create worlds and characters in my head, on my computer, in notebooks ALL THE TIME. But I have a hard time figuring out what to do with them once they’re there. I imagine them looking at me with their arms raised like “WTF, man? WTF?”

But give me a journaling-type prompt, and I’ll run with it. I remember when I kept an online diary years ago, sometimes I’d go to a site that offered journaling prompts and write my entries based on those. I LOVED that. It gave me a central theme for the entry instead of just babbling about my day (although some people seemed to love when I babbled about my day), but it allowed me to draw from my own experiences and feelings and wants and expectations.

I’m hoping that by doing this WFMAD project, I get back in the habit of just… WRITING. And I’m hoping with that, the plotting and things will come back to me. That I can get over my fear of fiction. I used to GO FOR IT. Now I hold back, always doubting, always editing and editing some more, never really moving forward. Reading too many book reviews, scared I’ll do the same things that piss off certain people and audiences. I shouldn’t even care what they think, especially if I’m just writing a draft. A baby.

I recently took a writing class on the basics of plot–I KNOW. It’s like I’m have to start all over, right? But it’s OK. I have no shame. Whatever gets me going again. I know I have the tools in me. I just need to polish off the rust, oil them, and get them working again.

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  1. Pingback: WFMAD Seven & Eight | Ronni Writes

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