Lately

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A lot has happened since I was last here. If you follow my personal blog, you know most of it. I had surgery, I lost my sweet kitty Helena, I attended the Writing Cross-Culturally Workshop, (and blogged about it here), made new writer friends, and started brainstorming two new novels.

But the best news out of all that is that I signed with an agent! I’m now represented by Caitie Flum of Liza Dawson Associates! I’m so excited to be working with her! She just gets me, she gets my book, she is a fierce fighter, and she looks out for her clients. I’m eager to see where this journey will take us.

I still have a long way to go to realize that NYT best-seller dream. But I finally feel like I’ve taken a real step on to that path. Now it’s up to me to keep doing the work, to keep my head on straight, and to hold on when things get hard.

Here’s to good things coming!

Attempting Nanowrimo

I’m attempting to do Nanowrimo this year.

The fact is that even though it’s hard, and can be heartbreaking and devastating, writing is where I feel home.

And I want to write. I want to write so badly. So I’m using this month as a reason to go balls out and write like the wind. Write like I’m running out of time.

Write write write write write.

I cheated today, though. Most of my words came from earlier drafts. But tomorrow, I’m going to go all out.

I keep meditating on the following things:

01. I’m shoveling sand to build castles later.
02. It’s OK to suck. Just write.
03. Be bold.
04. Be brave.
05. DON’T HOLD BACK.
06. Try not to edit… just let the words come.
07. Write without judgement.
08. JUST DO IT.
09. Don’t think about publication. Just think about the words.
10. Have fun.

And one that especially bears repeating:

1. Be brave.
2. Be brave.
3. Be brave.
4. Be brave.
5. Be brave.

I’m not sure if I will *win*. I have the ole day job, and two freelance contracts to deal with, plus health issues and my tendency to screw off playing games or watching Netflix. But I hope to have enough words down at the end of the month to have a fun project to revise. We all know, that’s where the real work is.

Wish me luck!

P.S. If you want to be my buddy on the site, I’m LilRonGal. :) Find me, and I’ll add you back.

Bangs Head Against Wall

frustrated

Why do I do this again?

When is it time to hang it up and either:

1. Give up for good

OR

2. Start something new (even though the well is DRY af)

Too much conflicting advice. Too many opinions.

So.
Many.
Opinions.

Epic failure. Fear. Frustration. Rollercoaster emotions.

Why do I do this?????

How do I learn to trust my gut, when it’s been so wrong in the past?

Striving for perfection that will likely never come, but knowing I have to be 250% to even get *considered* because of… well, reasons.

So tired of being “almost but not quite.” Not just here. Everywhere.

“You’re close, but.”

That’s not enough for me.

“This is special.”

But still, so many things wrong.

Why so much wrong? Still?
And will I ever figure it out?

Tired. So, so tired.

basketballfalling
how writing feels

But I can’t stop. So what does that make me?