The hardest block I’m trying to work through is the “you need to be working on more important things than this silly dream of yours” block. This block is more dangerous than writer’s block, in my opinion, because this block convinces me that my writing is a waste of time, that I’ll never make it, that this is a stupid daydream and that I need to give up on it and get a job at Applebee’s or something to make ends meet, instead of wasting time trying to write something that an editor will buy. Then something that people will buy.
At least with writer’s block, one has the desire and the will to write. The YNTBWONMITTTSDOY block is one that induces guilt, and shame, and makes me feel as though I don’t really have a right to do this, because there’s nothing really to strive for other than a bunch of useless manuscripts to shove under the proverbial bed, a lot of wasted time, and nothing really to show for it.
I am scared that all of my friends will realize their writing dreams, and I’ll be left in the dust. And I especially fear that this is something else I can add to the “just not good enough” pile. Once upon a time, I’d considered myself anything but ordinary. But now, I think I’m nothing but ordinary.
And as much as that thought dissappoints me, it doesn’t surprise me. It’s how I’ve always thought of myself.
In this business, I think you would be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t have fears like those at least some of the time. Even published authors do! So you’re definitely, definitely not alone. That said, I think that a lot of times, this kind of block is also the “thinking about selling something while you’re still working on writing it” block. First step first. Write. Then think about selling it. Then write something else. And then think about selling that.
If the only reason you write is to sell stuff, then the kind of block you’re talking about is HUGE. But if there’s an aspect of writing that is enjoyment, as well as work, to you, then cling to that. Because maybe you’re not writing instead of doing something “more important.” Maybe you’re writing instead of doing something LESS important. Maybe you’re doing it instead of watching TV or wasting extra copious amounts of time on the internet or going to bed an hour earlier. If you were doing those things, you really wouldn’t have anything to show for it. With writing, at least you DO have those manuscripts- and that is something.
Cliffsnotes version: I feel your pain. And then- rah, rah, sis boom bah. Go you.
You’re not alone. Your second to last paragraph sounds frighteningly familiar for me. ((HUGS)) I wish I knew what to say – there’s very little that can chase those blocks away, other than getting a break and tasting some success. It sucks, I know.
Hang in there. Days like that suck.
But they do pass….
((HUGS)) Same thoughts over here. Just posted about it a few days ago, and today posted a jealous fit in reaction to a published author saying she felt pressured now that she has a contract and an editor waiting for each chunk of book four that she sends . . . I screamed, beat the wall, and yelled, “No, Br’er Bear, throw me into that briar patch!” So it’s not unusual. We are using up our lives–and there’s a finite amount of time allotted to each–to do this, and often it seems really . . . pointless.
We have to listen to people like jenlyn-b above. The art itself has to be worthy or we wouldn’t me making it. We just have to trust.
(I’m not very trusting any more, though. . . .)
Hang in there *doubled*
I fear being left in the dust too. I fear never “making it”. I fear that I should be going back to school and getting a degree so I can get a “real” job like my father often says. I don’t know how many times I’ve entertained the idea of enrolling in college.
But I think success WILL come to those who keep working. I have to believe that, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this. We grow in our writing everyday and eventually we’ll be so amazing, no agent/editor would be able to pass our work up.
What you’re feeling is only natural. I like how Jenlyn_B put it. She has some great words up there! I particularly like the: Rah, rah, sis boom bah. Go you! (I think I used to say Rah, rah, sisk boom bah. Ha. I was never good with deciphering lyrics either.)
It’ll come back to you. 😉
Perfect, perfect answer.
I wonder if alot of us feel this way after the holidays. I feel with you. There are times I feel that I’ll never get recognized or picked up by an agent. I read some of those you do and feel a tad bit green. I especially hate when nothing seems to come–no orginial words–nothing.
But I agree with the others–it will. I love Jen’s little chant too!
Hang in there–
You are unique. You have a unique world view and that would show in your writing. What you have to offer as a writer is your personal viewpoint, ideas, interests, passions.
What happen to anyone else is totally unimportant because they are not you. So you can only compare yourself to yourself.
Be extra nice to yourself today. Tomorrow will be better. Hugs.
I feel that way about myself, too. But at least you have a talent, a dream, and a goal. I always feel lost and that my life is meaningless because I don’t have that… I’m not really good at anything. 🙂 So, I don’t like to see talented people give up on dreams that easily. Sometimes you need to work hard — to fight! — to realize your dreams. Like jenlyn_b said, if you are writing instead of watching TV or surfing the internet, then you at least have something to show for your time. While I haven’t read any of your fiction (but I can’t wait to :)), I really enjoy reading your journal. I hope, someday, the entire world enjoys reading your work. 🙂
Aww. Well, if you never end up writing for anyone but yourself, is that enough?
Some of my stuff I want to share and some of it is only for me. I think if I never succeed in getting published–the mark of “worthiness” for us writery people–then at least I spent my life doing what I love, ya know?
But I hope for the world’s sake that your stuff gets out there. You can make the world a better place by showing others that you’ve been where they are. There are many levels of “important”!